Todays Woot!

ATI Radeon X600SE 128mb PCI Express Video Card
$19.99 + $5.00 shipping

The way a Cro-Magnon man sees it, the $20 ATI Radeon X600SE 128mb PCI Express Video Card does everything a fancy $200 card does. Our protohuman pal wouldn’t trouble himself with arcane minutiae like vertex shaders and contour fluency – or computers, for that matter. He’d look over the Radeon X600SE, either clutch the shiny bauble to his chest or fling it away in superstitious terror, and go on about his nasty, brutish, short life.

There’s much to envy in the relaxed Cro-Magnon approach to video cards. For one thing, it’s cheaper. A pampered modern homo like you might simper about how the ATI Radeon X600SE 128mb PCI Express Video Card probably isn’t that much of an upgrade over your onboard video, and how it can’t play the latest games at the highest levels of graphics quality, and so you simply must spend a few days’ wages on a more expensive option.

Hey, whatever tweaks your pixels. But consider this: while you’re oohing and aahing over marginally more convincing on-screen blood-splatters, that Cro-Magnon is having a hot time in the old town with all the money he saved, supping upon the finest raw meat, bludgeoning his enemies with the latest and l33t35t club, and slipping dollar bills into the loincloths of prehistoric exotic dancers. Who’s the advanced one here?

This Week On The Web Exclusive: The Lowdown On Myspace

You might not believe me but Tom from myspace is a gay.

You ask how I know this..? So here's my story..

I was reading the myspace announcements and I see this.

"Latest Update: May 2, 2007 12:30pm, PST

seems like there's more rumors than usual that i'm closing the site or going to start charging for myspace. not true foo'! don't believe what you read in bulletins and rumors.. if there was something important to tell you, i would post an announcement.

oh and some people have asked about the missing orientation option for "gay" on edit profile. that's a bug that should be fixed later tonight... no, myspace does not hate gay people.. duh."

notice the bold. So I was thinking, wow.. could he? So I headed over to his myspace to get the low-down on his orientation. To my surprise he didn't have one. Here is my supporting evidence.



After I saw that I immediately headed over to his pictures to see if there were any pics of him with hot girls, after all myspace is just one big place to score with fine ladies. Then I discovered this!

and this


I couldn't believe my eyes but as I assumed myspace is just one big gay social network. Conspiracy or the truth? Only you can decide. I believe every word of it and if you don't believe me I urge you to head on over to http://www.myspace.com/tom to do some investigative work yourself. All I have left to say is Tom, I caught you you snake in the grass!

Todays Woot!

Siemens Bluetooth Car Kit

$19.99 + $5.00 shipping

Hey, this comes without a user manual. Good thing we’ve got a PDF of the manual right here, huh?

Some people make a point never to talk on the phone while they’re driving. Some wimpy people, that is. Not me. The only time I get any real talking done is while I’m driving. If my Bluetooth phone rings, I immediately run out to my car, start it up, and pull out into traffic before I say “Hello.” It relaxes my mind somehow. It’s like a Zen thing. Or so I’m guessing. I don’t really know what “Zen” means. I think it has something to do with those little waterfall machines you can buy for your desk.

I can hear the nervous ninnies out there: “But isn’t it dangerous to talk and drive at the same time?” Not as dangerous as talking smack to me, fool! Especially since I have the Siemens Bluetooth Car Kit HKW-700. It plugs into the cigarette lighter on my dashboard and lets me talk on my phone without using my hands. The LCD screen displays Caller ID info, and I can scroll through my address book and make calls without taking my phone out of my pocket. It’s even got features like echo-compensation and noise-suppression so Diane Rehm can’t tell I’m calling her show from a moving car. She hates that.

But here come the timid Timmies again: “Studies show that even handsfree phone conversation provides a significant distraction to blah blah blah.” Give me a break! I’ve had literally millions of phone calls while I’m driving, and I’ve never even come close to (SKREEEEEEKHHH!) (KRSHHH!)

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Puberty!